This Thanksgiving, perhaps more than any year past, I am deeply grateful for family. It may have taken me 31 years to reconcile my family reality with what I thought family "should" look like, feel like, be like, but I'm grateful for that journey.
And I'm grateful for the simple sweet moments like this one last week when my favorite little man refused to hold my hand through the parking lot, but happily grabbed hold of great-grandpa's finger. It's in those sweet simple moments that the essence of family lives.
A year ago today I was working at home on a Friday afternoon when I got thecall that my Grandma had been rushed to the hospital & it didn't look good. I booked the first flight I could get to Minnesota & headed for the airport a few hours later.
I sat at my gate & took a phone call to finalize a plan for moving forward with what, at the time, was the greatest client commitment I had ever made. Just as I finished that call I got the text from my brother that my Grandma had gone to heaven.
Today, I'm on a flight bound for California to spend another week with that very client. Life is funny that way and the significance of moments like that isn't lost on me.
It's hard to believe it's been a year already & yet only a year. In my memory, she will always be my Grandma who loved her grandkids with everything she had.
"How are you packing up your life here?" she asked.
I laughed. "Trying to live in the beautiful tension of the in between." The truth is, I haven't thought that far ahead yet. It's both a blessing & a curse that as much as I am a "think ahead, be ahead, put out the fires before they start" woman, I am also a "jump & figure it out on the way down" woman. My professional life the former & my personal life the latter.
Twice in my life I thought I had it all planned out - what I'd do, the state I'd live in, the people I'd call friends - I pictured it all more than I even realized.
And twice in my life, God has given me a chance to catch a major curveball. And I've taken it. I won't go so far as to say "He told me to move to Nashville," or a myriad of other big life choices. But He also didn't tell me not too. And that, my friends, is oftentimes all that we get & all that we need to give it a try.
I'm headed out West for another week bright & early tomorrow morning. Today, I'm soaking up a beautiful Autumn Saturday at home in Nashville & reflecting on this season of in between.
In transition. The trees. The days. Me.
Autumn has long been a season of "new" for me. And not always good new, but still new. And this year is no different. It's a whole lot of new, mostly the good kind.
New like walking 3 miles tonight when 3 months ago I could barely walk 10 minutes.
Last time this year I was in the middle of a downward spiral with my health & little did I know the fight for answers was just beginning. But a year later, I'm still here, still standing, & after months of fighting for those answers, finally climbing back up the spiral & feeling alive again.
I'm far from on the other side of this particular battle, but I can already say without a doubt that had I not walked through the desert of the last year, I would not be prepared to walk into the season of life that is just around the corner.
And that - preparation & redemption - make the pain beautifully worth it, even when there are still days it just plain sucks.